On Dating
People desire intimacy, love and being loved, and long to establish long-term and stable relationships. People fear loneliness and need to be affirmed by others. A healthy intimate relationship makes people feel appreciated, accepted and affirmed from the bottom of their hearts, thus bringing a sense of happiness and no longer being lonely. However, since love involves the depths of one's soul, an unserious attitude towards love and immature behavior will cause great harm and may even affect future interpersonal relationships and destroy future marital happiness.
Regarding the love attitude of young people in Hong Kong, an expert said: "Affected by family and society, many young men and women are greedy for novelty and self-centered, and only have a 'fast food' mentality towards love. This phenomenon may lead to an open attitude towards sex and affect Hong Kong's future family concepts. Why do young people like to embrace this 'instant culture'? Because they value feelings and desire to be valued; plus in the early stages of dating, the body will be affected by hormones, which makes it easy to generate passion and obsession, and invest in love. But after a period of time, the influence of love will naturally gradually diminish, or even disappear completely. In addition, many young people come from small and medium-sized families, and their personalities are more egoistic, lack tolerance, and are prone to give up easily when facing emotional problems. In fact, this 'easy to come and go' attitude towards love will affect one's ability to solve problems in the long run, and when encountering problems, they will not know how to deal with them."
Most unmarried men and women desire a long-term marriage and are unwilling to divorce. But at the same time, they also accept that they have more than one sex partner, or even more than one sex partner at the same time. This only reflects the selfishness of human nature, expecting good results but not willing to bear the attitude and cost that should be taken.
In fact, we can experience love with our partners, not just pursuing temporary excitement, but slowly pursuing "true love" with our spouses. This kind of love is a combination of rationality and emotion, including actions of will, and requires restraint and personal growth. Our most basic emotional needs are not to fall in love, but to be truly loved by another person, and to know that love is based on reason and choice, not just on feelings. You need to be loved by another person, and this person chooses you and sees that you are worthy of love. Similarly, your love for him or her is to benefit the other person, knowing that his or her life has become richer because of your efforts, so you will also have a sense of satisfaction (the satisfaction of truly loving someone).
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The world's concept of love |
God's concept of love |
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Love is mainly for self-satisfaction • Some familiar words, such as: "If you can't do this... You don't love me!' • To marry a rich man and have a comfortable life. • Having children out of wedlock; abandoning without taking care. |
Intimacy is the consequence of mutual commitment (Genesis 2:22-25 Then the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man was made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Both the man and his wife are naked, and they are not ashamed.) |
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Love is a feeling • After dating for a long time, they break up when they feel bored • As the saying goes: "A wife is like a garment" • The most important thing is to have a feel. |
Love is a decision (John 13:1 Before the Passover, Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave the world and return to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.) |
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Love cannot be controlled • If you like someone, you should express and pursue them, even if you just met them • When love is strong, sexual behavior is inevitable. |
Love can be controlled. (Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the marriage bed is undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral.) |
In this era of free love, the real purpose of dating is to allow lovers to understand more clearly whether they are actually suitable for each other during the dating period. As followers of the Lord, there are several aspects to consider:
1. Does the other person put God first and is willing to follow the teachings of the Bible?
2. Can being with him or her make both of us love Jesus and others more?
3. If I marry him or her, can the calling God has given me be fulfilled with the same mind as the couple?
4. After understanding his or her shortcomings, can I still appreciate him or her actively, and be willing to commit to his or her growth with love, pay the price, and become an encouragement and companion for him or her?
When two people move toward God together, their relationship will be closer! On the contrary, if men and women only focus on pleasing each other, God cannot be involved. If after dating, you find that the other party is actually unable to walk with you and cannot agree with God's calling for you, in fact, the purpose of dating has been achieved. Don't force yourself to continue because you are reluctant or afraid of being hurt. You can find a trusted elder to share and end the dating relationship in peace and with blessings.
On Dating