We live in a society where sex is rampant. This is a fact that everyone can see and hear. Whether it is advertisements or online information, they are full of pornographic images, and even news reports are full of news about sexual crimes. Modern people no longer feel embarrassed to talk about promiscuity. They don't bow their heads, don't blush, and speak loudly. Promiscuity is not called promiscuity, but extramarital affairs and premarital sex. Moral standards have also dropped significantly. One-night stands and cohabitation are widely accepted, and most people don't think there is anything wrong with it. Some school social workers have reported that more and more junior high school students have sexual experience. It is not easy to find virgins for young people aged 14 or 15.

Today is indeed an era of rampant sex. All teenagers are constantly impacted by sex. Christians living in society cannot avoid facing such temptations. Don't think that promiscuity will not happen to you. Don't be overconfident, otherwise you may become the next promiscuous person. And for dating partners, the temptation of sex is especially great!

How to face the temptation of sex in dating? Here are four tips:--

1. Too early physical contact will hinder the communication of the soul

I believe that most Christians are sincere in maintaining their chastity before marriage and do not expect to express love through physical intimacy. One of the inevitable questions in dating or premarital counseling is: How much physical intimacy is enough?

We can look at this matter from a new perspective. Sexual intercourse does not begin with a man putting his penis into a woman's vagina. Caressing and deep kissing are part of sexual intercourse, and some people call it the prelude to sexual intercourse. Caressing and deep kissing are to tease each other's sexual desire and satisfy one's own desires through physical contact between each other, and of course they are part of the sexual process. The prelude is to prepare the body for sexual intercourse. If you can't control yourself at this moment, premarital sex is the inevitable consequence. Many premarital sexual behaviors are not premeditated, but are involuntarily uncontrollable and out of control. Without self-control, the focus of the date will only be on physical contact, purely sensual satisfaction, and sensual satisfaction will only escalate, and the demand will become greater and greater – kissing this time, caressing next time, touching sensitive parts next time...

Physical communication is much faster than spiritual communication. Skin contact between men and women brings instant pleasure, which can satisfy people's innate sexual desire, temporarily fulfill the emotional needs of men and women in loneliness, and make men feel satisfied and women feel safe. But these satisfaction and security are only short-lived and superficial. With instant satisfaction and feelings, it constitutes a great attraction, making people take shortcuts and make skin contact the main purpose of dating, which prevents both parties from fully understanding each other.

Pleasure, satisfaction and intimacy are just an illusion. Although the body is very close, the distance between the soul is very far. The intimacy brought by building the love and care of two people entirely on physical contact is not enough to maintain a long-term and profound relationship between the two.

2. Recognize that extramarital sex is a sin

The Bible's position is absolutely clear. Premarital sex is fornication and a sin! Having sex with someone outside of marriage, whether before or after marriage, is fornication and a sin that God hates!
1 Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality. For every sin a man commits is outside the body; but the sexually immoral man sins against his own body." Hebrews 13:4: "Let marriage be honored among all, and the marriage bed be undefiled, for sexual immorality and adultery God will judge." One of the Ten Commandments is "You shall not commit adultery." The Bible is absolutely unambiguous in this regard.

It is a matter of the new generation not to have extramarital sex, but God's standard is eternal and will not accommodate human customs. Sin is sin, and there is no need to explain yourself. If you have extramarital sex, please look in the mirror and say: You are a sexually immoral person.

God tells us to flee from sexual immorality and not to commit adultery, not to control us, but to protect our freedom. Sin will definitely bring harm and pain, and God wants to protect us from harm.
God is not against sex. On the contrary, God supports sex because sex is created by God, and everything He creates is good.

Among all human relationships, the relationship between husband and wife is the most intimate. In God's design, physical union is unique to husband and wife. Other relationships are only at the level of spiritual communication, only husband and wife have sexual communication. Sex is the most direct and powerful medium for husband and wife to express love and commitment. Genesis 2:24: "A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." The union of the sexual organs of men and women during sexual intercourse can best express what "two become one flesh", but this physical union also represents the union of the two souls.

Sexual intercourse represents unreserved commitment and complete union. Sexual intercourse is not just a simple animal behavior, but an expression of mutual commitment and love between men and women. Sexual intercourse designed by God is to allow men and women to enjoy the union of body, mind and spirit in a mutually committed relationship. This union is expressed through the marriage covenant before God and man, and is completely sacred.

Why is pornography called pornography? It is not because it is exposed, but because it separates sexual behavior from the relationship between husband and wife, and purely regards sex as an animal behavior, without spiritual communication, without commitment, and simply an animal release. This is what God hates.

If the sexual behavior of men and women does not occur in a relationship of mutual love and mutual commitment, there will be no real sense of security and satisfaction.

3. Determine to escape

2 Timothy 2:22: "Flee from the lusts of youth." It is to escape, not to fight. The battle with Satan cannot be escaped; but the things of lust cannot be fought, but to escape, otherwise you will only fail miserably.

What is escape? Just like Joseph in Genesis 39 escaped from the temptation of his mistress and left the scene and walked away. The way to overcome the temptation of sex in dating is to escape.
Generally speaking, boys are more likely to have sexual impulses than girls. Girls need to feel love before having sexual response, but boys do not need to feel love. Eye stimulation or physical touch is enough to arouse sexual response.

What boys should do:

a. Do not give Satan a foothold, because you are easily impulsive. Generally, deep kisses and caresses are already difficult for boys to control. But the degree of intimacy varies from person to person. If you find that you have aroused sexual reactions and want to take further actions, you should stop immediately.

b. Learn to wait. Lust requires immediate satisfaction, but love is long-lasting and can wait. You need to figure out, when you say you love her, do you want to use her to satisfy your sexual desire? If you love her, you must respect her and be responsible for your feelings. You will wait until you get married to have sex with her.

What girls should do:

a. Know how to refuse. Generally, girls are not as impulsive as boys physically. When you don't feel anything, the other person may already be excited! Therefore, girls should know how to refuse, because boys are not easy to refuse.

b. Don't be sentimental. Many girls lose their virginity not for sex, but just to have a closer relationship with the other person. Many girls lack the affirmation and love of their fathers when they grow up, so they want to pursue the affirmation and love of boys. Here we should be alert: the requests made by boys outside of marriage are not out of love, but to satisfy their sexual desires. If he doesn't like you because you refuse, you should thank God because you have seen his true face. Girls who are too casual will not get the respect of boys, but only suspicion.

Sex is like a fruit of love. It can only be picked and eaten when it is ripe, otherwise it will become sour and waste the fruit. Therefore, men and women who are dating should eat this fruit after marriage, and avoid sexual temptation before marriage.

• Try to avoid being alone in the same room with just you two. The most dangerous thing is to lock yourself in the other person's room alone to talk about love.
• In some places, many couples are openly intimate. Avoid such places to avoid being affected by the environment.
• Avoid going to places where no one can see you, and don't go to pornographic movies together.
• Cocktail parties and dances are not appropriate places. Alcohol can make people promiscuous and lose self-control, and orgies are places where lust is indulged.
• Don't go on long trips with just you two. If you have to go, find other people to accompany you, and don't sleep together.

4. Someone should watch over your dating

If your mentor asks you to explain your weaknesses and failures in the past week, what kind of temptations have you had, how will you react? Do you think the other person is meddling in your affairs? Do you think the other person is invading your privacy?

We become one body in Christ, and we will affect each other. Your affairs are closely related to your mentor, so you have the responsibility to explain your spiritual conditions to each other. If we don't explain to people, we won't explain to God; if we don't explain to visible people, we won't explain to the invisible God.

When you are dating, there will definitely be temptations in the sexual aspect. If no one is watching over you, you have no one to explain to, and you are in trouble! Satan can easily attack you.
You need to find one or two people who can watch over your relationship. They can be group leaders, pastors, or some mature couples in the church. Report the progress of your relationship regularly, and explain when you meet, especially physical contact.

Maybe you will say, "It's too late! I have had sex with the opposite sex, and more than once." It's not too late! Sex is not a purely physiological issue. Losing your virginity is indeed an irreversible fact, but what is more important is your mentality and values at the present moment. There is also good news, extramarital sex is a forgivable sin, and the precious blood of Jesus is very effective! You can change your mind and make a new resolution. Jesus never rejects those who sin in sex.

How to face Sexual Tempations in Dating