Some couples feel that after marriage the love between husband and wife is not as passionate as before. In addition, there are more conflicts and less acceptance between the two. As a consequence they feel that the other half do not love them as much as before, and the relationship turns sour. And as his or her bad habits are becoming more and more unacceptable, the couple can no longer live together, and divorce seems to be the solution.

Many people actually do not understand what marriage is all about. They only have expectations for the wedding. They hope that when they get married, they can have a dream-style wedding of the century. They spend a lot of money and time in preparing for the wedding, but have not at the same time prepare for the marriage. Marriage is established by God, it is holy and beautiful, and nothing but death can separate the man and woman whom God has brought together. "But from the beginning of creation, God created man to create male and female. In this case, husband and wife are no longer two persons, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man shall not separate." (Mark 10:6, 9) . The love of husband and wife is as close as Christ loves the church. This love is a self-denying love!

In fact, it is normal for couples to struggle or take time to get used to, because men and women are basically two very different structures in terms of emotions and thinking patterns. But just because they are so different, the two can be a good match. As long as we are willing to learn to lay down our own preferences and habits, to cooperate and build up the other half, the situation will be very different! Of course, do not be afraid to open up to the pastor or marriage counselor for assistance if husband and wife cannot communicate peacefully.

A. Choices not pleasing to God

1. Divorce

People choose to divorce because they want to live a better life. Of course, if you feel that there is a problem in your relationship and you cannot handle it on your own, then it is a time you have to rely more on God. In other words, it has not yet reached a dead end! If you give up your marriage easily, it will be a deep injury to yourself or the other party, and even to your children. It also destroys the promises made on that day before God and man, and a shame to God! (Read Matthew 2:13-16)

2. Affair

As early as in the Ten Commandments, God has taught His people through Moses: Do not covet other people's wives and destroy other people's families. "You shall not covet a man's house; neither shall he covet his wife, or his servants, or his ox or donkey, or all that he has." (Exodus 20:17) Therefore, no matter you are married or single, if you fall in love with another person's husband or wife, you will not be blessed by God and man. Jesus also taught, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and has failed his wife; and if the wife deserts her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:11-12).

B. How should couples get along?

If one of the husband and wife has believed in the Lord, but the other has not yet made up his or her mind to follow God, the Bible teaches that the one who believes in the Lord should continue to work hard to let their partner know God and be saved, and have the entire family obey Christ and be led by the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:13-14)

The teaching in Ephesians is:
Wife:
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the Savior of the whole church. As the church submits to Christ, so the wives should submit to their husbands in all things.
Husband:
Ephesians 5:25-29 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. Cleanse the church with water through the word, and make it holy, and present it to yourself as a glorious church, without spot, wrinkle, or any kind of disease, but holy and without blemish. Husbands are also to love their wives as their own bodies; to love their wives is to love themselves. No one ever hated his own body, but he always cared for it, just as Christ did to the church, 30 For we are the members of his body (there are scrolls here: his bones and his flesh).

In the relationship between husband and wife, it is necessary to always rely on the Holy Spirit and ask the Holy Spirit:
"How can I support my better half?"
"In this situation, how should the Lord respond to him or her?
"May the Holy Spirit lead me that I can appreciate and praise my better half from God's perspective."

Husband's Needs:

• feel respected
• Affirmed
• be encouraged
• Being trusted
• Feels like his wife needs him

Wife's Needs:

• feel loved
• listened to
• feeling recognized
• have time for couples alone

In your daily life, deliberately praise and encourage the other half, affirm his or her contribution to the relationship and family, and thank God for the other person! Cherish him or her in your life so that love can be expressed in words and deeds!

C. Remarry

The Bible also mentions remarriage, which is permissible under the following circumstances:

1 The other half is dead. (1 Corinthians 7:39)

2 When a person who does not believe in the Lord takes the initiative to leave and remarry, a person who believes in the Lord can remarry, because the marriage contract of marriage is dissolved by the unbeliever, and leaving is equivalent to the end of the marriage contract. (1 Corinthians 7:15)

3 When the other half has sexual relations with others, they commit adultery and break the marriage contract. (Matt 5:32)

On Marriage