The Secret of Emotional Management

Controlling my own Life

Some people say: "Everyone is influenced by circumstances." "As long as you are in the world, you have no choice." Is it true?

In general, we respond or react to the stimuli in different situations. In fact, between "circumstances" and "responses", there is a process called "thinking". This "thinking process" will enable us to "exercise the authority of free will" to make appropriate responses.

How we respond determines whether we can live a happy life. It is up to me to make decisions based on my inner values in whatever circumstances.

We tend to react quickly without thinking about how to respond. We fail to respond appropriately because we react too quickly – and we often feel guilty afterwards that we have made a mistake. No! You can decide how to respond. You can control your response!

If we cannot control ourselves, we will be driven and pulled by circumstances. When things are going well, we feel better, but when the situation is bad, we feel bad. When it is cloudy or hot, it makes us feel depressed.

When we are in control of ourselves, we can make our own climate. We can create the conditions that make us happy and productive, so that actual circumstances have no influence on how we act or feel.

You can make your own decisions because, when you are redeemed, you can live according to God's will. A reborn person is born from above. We live from within. We have the power within us to declare, "I can do it! Even though the circumstances are against me, I can still do it." This is a very basic principle in the Bible; this principle is: life is "lived out from within" rather than lived in from the outside! "Living from within" means: responding according to your inner principles and values, according to the Holy Spirit within you, rather than letting your mood be determined by your emotions, environment, feelings, or the words and attitudes of others.

Control of life stems out from the values that we own

We can gain control over circumstances by having firm beliefs (values) that allow us to respond to the environment or others in an unnatural way. For example: Jesus taught his disciples that if someone hits you on the left side, you should be hit on the right side as well; you should love your enemies, etc. These are not natural reactions. When someone offends you, the natural reaction is anger, surprise, escape or revenge. A person who is in control will stop and think about the beliefs he has always held before responding and choosing love and forgiveness.

A person who takes control of his own affairs can expand his influence because his actions win the respect and trust of others. On the contrary, people who are influenced by circumstances are often controlled by others and the environment and cannot break out.

Circumstances are constantly changing, but values remain steadfast. So when we hold on to our beliefs and let them guide our decisions, we gain the power to change our circumstances.

People who are in control can turn love into action, while people who are controlled by circumstances often act according to their feelings.

Establishing correct values is what we should cherish most. This is what Romans 12:2 means by the renewal of our mind, we will no longer be conformed to the world. So we need our minds to be transformed -- to be filled with God's word and good values. It is important to understand our values and let them strengthen us and become an anchor in our lives.

God's word is the foundation of our values. Many times when we need to make decisions, the Holy Spirit will remind us through these values so that we can do what God wants us to do instead of following the way of the world.

When I am in control, I know how to accept who I am, what I have, and what I should be responsible for

When I am in control, I do not need to blame the environment or others. Those who are in control of their own affairs will understand that no matter what they have, what they want to do, or what decisions they make, the final conclusion or consequences are all their own choices.

A person who takes control of his own situation can explain why he cannot succeed, or why he cannot hand in his homework on time, or why this relationship broke down... When he takes control of his own situation, he sees that no matter what happens, it is largely his own decision, and he can often admit his mistakes, correct them and learn lessons from them.

What hurts us the most is not the actions of others or our own shortcomings, but our inability to face these shortcomings. "Life in control" or "passing the buck" are two attitudes which lead to absolutely different results. A person who believes that "everything is up to me" is proactive, willing to bear the consequences and move towards his goal. On the contrary, a person who often "shirks responsibility" only provides excuses and explanations for himself. He is negative and passive and only bears his fate.

Do you want to see yourself as a person who knows how to take responsibility for the consequences, or as the type who always makes excuses or complains for yourself? When your heart tries to find reasons and excuses, it is a signal telling you that you need to make friends with "it's all my business".

If you want to be the master of your happiness and decide to live a happy life, you must learn to be the one who controls everything in your own hands and live with an active and positive attitude.

Life in control can be practiced

Life in control is the power of integrity -- it is the decision to live a life from the inside, to live out your true self, which is simply a commitment to your principles and beliefs. No one is perfect, so when you practice this quality, you will find that it becomes easier and easier to control your emotional reactions, and you will understand more and more what important life principles and beliefs you are trying to uphold. Time and time again, you will find that you can really live in any circumstances and remain calm and confident.

Pdf-48The Secret of Emotional Management