A Wonderful Single Life
A. Challenges of single life
1. Various negative emotions:
- Loneliness (especially during holidays or when seeing others in pairs)
- Self-pity
- Helplessness
- Lack of self-confidence
- Feeling that God has treated me unfairly or forgotten me
- Jealousy of dating or married people
- Regret for missing the opportunity to get married
- Guilt (not being able to meet parents' expectations or worrying them)
- Regret (never having experienced marriage or having children)
- Anger (feeling unfair)
- Struggle (when pursuing a non-believer of the opposite sex)
- Worry (worrying that the chance of getting married is slim due to aging)
- Fear
Be brave to face various emotions. Accept your true feelings, and do not suppress or deny them. You can open your heart to God and receive relief, comfort and strength from Him. In addition, you can also cultivate positive feelings by sharing with friends/mentors in the Lord, reading books on psychological growth, and building a healthy self-image.
2. Pressure:
- Social pressure has decreased now, but parents will put pressure on us because they feel that they have not fulfilled their responsibilities and are worried out of love. So we need to listen, be patient, express appreciation and affirmation, and respond gently.
- Pressure on finances and care of parents. So we need to share with married siblings and ask them to share the burden.
3. Self-centeredness:
- People who live alone make all their own decisions and are not easy to get advice from others. They gradually become afraid of others participating in their personal world and become people whose universe revolves only around themselves.
4. Emotional and sexual temptations:
- They may marry unbelievers, become the third party in someone else's marriage, have one-night stand with the opposite sex, have casual sex, etc., in order to feel being loved, or to prove that they are still attractive, or to have their own children.
- Masturbate, indulge in sexual fantasies, and develop homosexuality.
B. Benefits of single life
1. Free use of all resources
2. More time to enjoy the relationship with the Lord
3. More time to serve the Lord
4. Still have the opportunity to choose being single or getting married
C. Enjoy the abundance of singleness
1. Establish friendships at different levels. Do not become an island. Interact more with original family members, elders, married family members or brothers and sisters, friends, etc., and establish in-depth relationships, so as to enjoy and give love.
2. Understand the situation of married people and bring about a correct view and reality of marriage.
3. Develop interests/hobbies, having the opportunity to try different things, and broaden life experiences and interests. Exercise is important.
4. Open your life and home to receive those in need or distant guests as appropriate.
5. Plan your life, grow at different stages, and cultivate a sweet relationship with God
D. Equip yourself for marriage
1. Develop communication skills and learn by interacting with different types of people. On the one hand, you can understand and expand yourself, and on the other hand, you can enrich your communication skills.
2. Through reading, observation and attending lectures, learn the correct view of marriage and understand the values and differences between men and women.
3. Learn to take care of yourself. Even if you live with your parents, you should still learn how to grow up, including living tips, health care and financial management, home design and maintenance, etc.
4. Principles of choosing a suitable spouse:
- Must be a Christian: Do not get emotionally involved with an unbeliever hoping to lead him to believe in the Lord in the future. As long as he is not a believer, do not get emotionally involved, lest you become addicted.
- Only those who have a heart that pursues the Lord can bear the yoke together.