Understanding Emotions
1. What are emotions?
Emotions are emotional responses aroused by the interaction between you and people, things, and objects. Sometimes, they involve the emotional echoes of many past experiences such as transfer or distortion.
2. Where do emotions come from?
A. God is a person with personality, character, and emotions, and we are created in His image.
B. God expresses His emotions (e.g. Psalm 7:11, God is angry with the wicked every day).
C. God has rich emotions. For example, God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5); God is a God full of love. God loves the world so much that He gave His only begotten Son to the world (John 3:16); God also takes pleasure in His people (Isaiah 62:5).
3. Why do we not have enough understandings of emotions?
A. No encouragements
B. Afraid that others may know too much about us
C. Not knowing our own feelings
4. Ways to understand and deal with emotions
A. Self-awareness wheel
The "self-awareness wheel" can be used to help you understand and accept your emotions
B. Application of rational emotive behavioral therapy (Also known as ABC theory : Activating event, Beliefs, Consequencs)
Example:
A B C
〈Triggering event〉 〈Beliefs, values〉 〈Consequence〉
Scolded by a good friend 1. I offended him 1. Doubt, anger, sorry
2. He was in a bad mood 2. Care, pity, sympathy
C. Deep self-examination: The relationship between emotions and me
a. Emotions are neutral, only how and whom to express it.
b. Emotions are controllable, but we are not necessarily controlled by it.
c. Emotions are signals of the interaction between my inner state and the current situation. They are real, but not true.
d. No one can anger a person who decides not to be angry.
e. Through emotional expression, you can get to know yourself more deeply -- self-counseling model:
i. Get in touch with your feelings and find out what kind of emotion it is.
ii. Find out whether this emotion is related to something that happened or to an action, and admit that you have been irritated.
iii. Ask yourself: "Why do I react in this way when others so behave?". Waiting for the answer.
iv. Check if you are the one who is to blame for the answer.
v. If not, you can have another conversation with yourself: "Others are free to do this or that, so why must I react this way?" Until you find the answer that you are to blame, or that it is related to a past event, you will be able to see the true situation within yourself. Example: 1: Related to past events. Example 2: Related to inferiority complex
Summary:
Emotional management = understanding + acceptance + transformation + appropriate expression